A submission for English class

Hi guys I just thought I’d share a little something from English and get a little feed back on it, as my class is currently into “poetry” right now so I thought “why not?” Only constructive criticism could help me get better ^_^ and here’s an instrumental song for you guys to enjoy 🙂

Never Let Her Go

Moments in life
Some I’d like to share
The heart ache
The heart break
Of my maiden so fair
And the day that I lost her
was tragic for me
The day I lost her
The joy of my life
The light of my life
My beautiful savior
The one I
so passionately hate
She was beautiful
She was pale
She saved me
She created me
Yet she abandoned me there
It was one after noon when she’d
Witnessed something so crude.
That one afternoon when she started to fade
That one afternoon when She started to change.
Her bright brown eyes soon became very dark.
Cloudy and dark her eyes became.
Abolishing the joy and lightness she one made.
As her anger and fear started to grow
She tore me down and took me apart
Leaving me weak and helpless she saw
And her eyes, her eyes now full of tears and regret
She’d realized what she’d done and soon she fled.
Distant, distant. She became very distant, each
Inch I’d inch closer a meter she’d jump away
And so she left me there in the wake of her
Horrible, horrible, terrible fear.
For soon she left me and never came back.
Not even a visit not even a sound.
So I scoured and scoured tirelessly scoured.
I wanted to see her, I yearned to be in her presence.
The days passed on, as did months, as did the years
and in all that time I’ve only seen her once, and she stood there
In the darkness where we reunited.
She just stood there, stood there and stared.
I yearned to embrace her, but I couldn’t move,
and it was then that I knew, seeing me wasn’t her intention
So we stood there silent, silent and breathe-less.
Until she disappeared, almost completely.
She left nothing but a gentle smile to calm my mind
but she was taken away and she
was stripped away from me once again.
Yet still I’ll wander this place. In search for her again.
No matter how many years it’d take I will find her.
And so I’ll look and I’ll listen, and I’ll wait and I’ll search.
For one more time I’d like to see her
For one more time I’d like to lay my eyes on her
To witness her beauty and what’d she’d now Become
So I can embrace her, accept her.
So this time, yet this time
I’ll never let her go.

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